My husband and I are timidly trying to raise our hands in church worship. It is not something I would usually talk about because in private it is a different story. And in my dreams it is even better!
I come from a very conservative church upbringing and moved into a just as conservative Baptist church 10years ago. It is has been the last 4years that God has called us to know Him more fully, and the natural outworking of this is to worship Him
with our all. We don't have to, we just want to.
True worship is from the heart first – I have always known this. If it extends outwards, because of our overwhelmed soul, then it becomes a physical
declaration and cry for Him as number one – and in private… I have no reserve! At our churches (Elim and Baptist) my husband and I love the new freedoms that are consuming us.
A typical praise
and worship time might go like this:
Music begins
sway
feel the rhythm
God's gift of music
rock forward and back on the feet
read the words
focus on Jesus
sway
loosen the hands
refocus on Jesus
feel the power of the words
hold
my hands linked before me
peak out the corner of my eyes
his hands are doing the same
refocus on Jesus
awkward yet thrilling desire rises up
remember
His power
close my eyes for the escalating chorus
a few rapid blinks of indecision
refocus
loose myself in Him momentarily
reopen my eyes
and peak sideways
his hands are at his face now and then dropping
now they are clasped at the fingers with open palms
refocus on Jesus
feel His warmth in my soul
hear His delighted laughter – at me
smile
face lights up
lost in His wonder
eyes easily remain closed
fingers spread wide
release my hands to flop at my side
reclasp hands behind back with one wide open
receive
sway
I love you, my Lord
hands in front
new song
wait for the buildup of meaning
heart rejoices
want the freedom but don’t want this newness to be over
don’t
want to become fake
this act is the giving of my all
it must always be
Essence snuggles into me
my 6 year old
I pull her before me and we
interlock fingers
easier now
her hands give mine the freedom to semi rise
peak sideways
his eyes close
he is sighing away is sins
my heart refills
it wants to burst
God is my husband’s love
eyes close for the remainder of the song
He is awesome!
Every week our hands get a fraction higher, and we become a little more taken in. We want to sing like we do in private at home. We are free inside. It is all a beautiful experience – much like courting and flirting with the love of your life.
We take is easy and mean every move we make. Our marriage relationship is my husband and I, and our King!
It is a love whisper between me and Him.