My God stuff thinkings

My husband and I are timidly trying to raise our hands in church worship. It is not something I would usually talk about because in private it is a different story. And in my dreams it is even better!


I come from a very conservative church upbringing and moved into a just as conservative Baptist church 10years ago. It is has been the last 4years that God has called us to know Him more fully, and the natural outworking of this is to worship Him with our all. We don't have to, we just want to.


True worship is from the heart first – I have always known this. If it extends outwards, because of our overwhelmed soul, then it becomes a physical declaration and cry for Him as number one – and in private… I have no reserve! At our churches (Elim and Baptist) my husband and I love the new freedoms that are consuming us.


A typical praise and worship time might go like this:

Music begins


feel the rhythm

God's gift of music

rock forward and back on the feet

read the words

focus on Jesus


loosen the hands

refocus on Jesus

feel the power of the words

hold my hands linked before me

peak out the corner of my eyes

his hands are doing the same

refocus on Jesus

awkward yet thrilling desire rises up

remember His power

close my eyes for the escalating chorus

a few rapid blinks of indecision


loose myself in Him momentarily

reopen my eyes and peak sideways

his hands are at his face now and then dropping

now they are clasped at the fingers with open palms

refocus on Jesus

feel His warmth in my soul

hear His delighted laughter – at me


face lights up

lost in His wonder

eyes easily remain closed

fingers spread wide

release my hands to flop at my side

reclasp hands behind back with one wide open



I love you, my Lord

hands in front

new song

wait for the buildup of meaning

heart rejoices

want the freedom but don’t want this newness to be over

don’t want to become fake

this act is the giving of my all

it must always be

Essence snuggles into me

my 6 year old

I pull her before me and we interlock fingers

easier now

her hands give mine the freedom to semi rise

peak sideways

his eyes close

he is sighing away is sins

my heart refills

it wants to burst

God is my husband’s love

eyes close for the remainder of the song

He is awesome!


Every week our hands get a fraction higher, and we become a little more taken in. We want to sing like we do in private at home. We are free inside. It is all a beautiful experience – much like courting and flirting with the love of your life. We take is easy and mean every move we make. Our marriage relationship is my husband and I, and our King!


It is a love whisper between me and Him.

Latest comments

08.10 | 03:59

Kylie, I would be delighted to have my name as a side character in your next book. I am telling anyone who will listen that they too must read The Book of Told.

08.10 | 03:42

Thank you SOOO much, Carol, for your encouragement! I would love to use your name as a side character in the prequel! Much blessings to you!

08.10 | 02:43

For the first time in many years I have found a book that I didn't want to put down. I wanted to just continue reading to find out where the story was going.

05.10 | 18:11

so so nice